Good Evening All
Tonight I want to talk about the importance of mental, spiritual me time, moms, first you become a wife, you dedicate your entire existence to your husband and your relationship. In today’s world you have to as there are just too many “options” for when a partner is not happy, so you continue to keep hubby happy, then you become a mom, yes our children is special and they are our entire world, when you become a mom, after dedicating all your time to hubby, now you have children at home which is another full time job. Your working, your house has to be kept, children looked after, food cooked and served, hubby happy and fed and you still have to have “special time” too.
When I went through these steps in my life I never thought of the “Importance of who am I time” I never gave myself time to grow and learn who I was, yes today I thought that if I started later in life maybe it would have had another outcome, but I never considered to make time for me,
Later in my marriage things started falling apart, hubby also never gave himself some development time and never learned how to except himself and his flaws, ( he always wanted to be the best and his “Face” to others was the most important ) he could never cope when he had made a mistake, he was an aggressive person so everyone else, including me and the kids were always the ones making the mistakes and the wrong ones.
Long story short, when I decided that that was not the space I want to be in, being spiritual, I decided to walk away, but again after my two year hell battle to get divorced I was so lonely ( because I dedicated my entire life to every one else and felt empty ) that I started dating again, before giving myself again time to heal, this is the mistake we make, we think our lives can not work or feel useful when we don’t dedicate it to someone else.
So getting back to the story, I kept on choosing the wrong men, I felt that I was cursed by this, and that my broken marriage has broken me so badly that I don’t know how to choose good men anymore. If I did not choose ones that had bad habits, then I chose ones that did not know how to or want to manage my kids, so nothing worked.
Now I had to support myself as ex-hubby will never pay child support and felt that due to the divorce he is now relinquished of his responsibility as a father, well, that did not matter to me as I thought that he was a bad influence anyway.
When my kids were old enough I decided to immigrate and get away from all the “Bad Karma” and “Bad Energy” left at home, I also went to create a better space for my family, with better work options as my home country was becoming very unstable and our children don’t have much options there. I decided where to go, set myself up and left to start this journey.
Wow, was that a change, all of a sudden I was in a place where everyone obviously spoke a different language, different customs and a totally different feel. I loved the change, I still do. I set myself up, started the immigration process, got things ready, from living in hotels to getting my own place, and settled down.
But then something very big happened in my life, I was alone again, I have no one to attend to, I am in a different country, not socializing and only have my puppers as my company, I was trying to cope alone, but when I wake up in the morning if felt like I just wake up and it’s night again. My days flew by, and it felt like I was just getting older by the day. I did not like being alone and was scared that I was going to die alone. Did I want to die alone ?
I was thinking of dating again, but had to think long and hard if I wanted to let someone back into my life, I have gotten so used to only my space and I was not sure if I wanted to share that, did I want to change myself again to have someone in my life, just so that I was not alone ? Hell no !
Then I made a very hard decision, I need to understand and learn who I am first. Maybe my mistakes I continued to make was because I never had a chance to get to know me and always made “me” up by who I had in my life, and what I had to portray. So the decision to get to know me first came into place.
I have always been spiritual, and spiritual practices was very important in my life, I lost most of my “ Practices and Routines “ because of all the things explained above. I had to restart everything again, relearn everything and get back into the swing of taking care of me, mentally, spiritual and my physical health.
It was a hard decision to make and even today I’m still struggling to keep things consistent. I guess because I’m the only one driving myself, and sometimes myself still gets lazy.
I don’t know how many of you reading this post can relate to this ? I for sure can tell you it’s hard.
But it’s very important, in today’s world the mental health doctors are making more money that the GP’s on our health, mental health and suicides are most prevalent due to woman and men not able to cope with who the are, maybe the got divorced and got left alone or maybe they just got fed up with their lives, not thinking how important it is to learn to live and love themselves first.
So I have an idea,
Why don’t we together start a “ Spiritual Mental Health care regimen”, share ideas and motivate each other. We can not rely on anyone else but ourselves to help us get healthy and at the same time learn to love and accept ourselves.
I’ll start mine this morning, I feel it’s the correct time to start and it much needed. I hope that someone will take the time to read this and join me.
Please let me know what you think of this program and whether you want to join, I’ll be here anytime you would like to start. This program is open to anyone, irrespective of what problem you are facing. Let’s help each other without judgement.