As the quote says,
“ Falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone that appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit “
What true words.
I know out of experience that I am guilty of this myself, when a person is so used to being broken down, so used to being treated as if you don’t matter, so used to being told that you don’t matter and not able to do anything correct in another persons eyes, we tend to forget to love ourselves and therefore end up to compensate for a love deficit. I was very very scared of being alone, but had to make a choice one day, I realized that the people I chose to be in my life was to make me feel whole, only realizing that No one can make you feel whole but yourself, in my case I kept on choosing the same “type” of person, ending up more broken, ending up more hurt, and in a worst relationship than the first one.
I have been working for years to not put myself in this position, Loving myself was a very hard task, but I have managed to break the habit and put myself first, unfortunately I have learned that in this process of learning to love myself again, seeing me for who I am and excepting myself completely with all my flaws, realizing that everything others said to me was only a reflection of themselves, then learning to ultimately forgive myself for mistakes that I have not made was the most ultimate outcome, I had to do this alone, completely alone, the scariest thing for most woman.
When I eventually achieved it, going into this big world alone and finding myself again made me feel grounded, free and my self worth came back to me little by little, I could see myself with new eye’s, I am not saying it was an easy task but today I have made a promise to myself, I will never put myself into a situation of fighting for a place, needing to feel that I am worthy by another persons approval again. It does not matter what life brings to me, I will fight for myself.
I am not sure how many people reading this piece have at some time suffered the same fate, I also know that not all situations are the same, and that in some other homes circumstances are different, but my point to this piece is to ask everyone reading this, everyone that is in a current toxic situation to practice self love. You are more important to yourself, you and you alone can walk your path, no one can dictate that path for you, please push yourself through and try to take care of yourself.
The emotional scars left will heal, it might not heal straight away, mine has not and some still have not, even after years of healing, I am no longer afraid to say that I am broken and that I am putting the pieces back together, I have learned that there is no shame in that and that there is nothing to feel bad about. I promise you, picking yourself up, learning to love yourself again, and no longer holding on to toxic relationships or toxic people because they bullied you so far that you think you are nothing without them then this piece is dedicated to you.
There is a saying that goes…. “You never know how strong you are unless you get put in hot water”
I really hope that this message has given someone a little light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Stay Strong !
Great. This resonates with me. Thank you. God bliss
I am so glad that you are reading my work, I am here if you ever need to talk.
So glad it did …